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Trying to detail the focus cycle of AS
I've frequently talked about "The focus cycle" when it comes to Asperger's Syndrome, because it's just one of the most pervasive symptoms that I've been dealing with and it's been a massive hindrance to my creative life and pretty much most of my projects. (And this is one of the reasons that The Beginner's Guide hit me so hard, as I'll explain in the next video). The basic gist of it is that it's a symptom of any kind of autism, and there are two camps. Camp one has this special interest that they may end up spending their whole life in. They're exceptionally passionate about it, and usually create things in that realm of their life or try to get a career in it. The other camp, the one which I find myself in, is that they have interests just as powerful. It consumes their life and drives them to massively obsess over it. Then one day, almost randomly... it's gone. Some other topic comes alone and it steals that interest and you're going to be obsessed with that for awhile. But lately, I've been analyzing this cycle and trying to gets as much observational data as possible. What I've been doing is examining everything. I need to know if this experience mirrors anyone else who seems to have this problem: (remember, I am trying to write out what I believe to be my own experience) Phase 1: Discovery The person discovers a new topic or idea that really sparks their interest. It causes some strong kind of emotion, usually a positive one. Perhaps they've begun playing a new video game that was really, really fun. For this example, I'm going to use Pokemon. This person, we'll say is one of the three people in the world who has never played Pokemon before. They pick up the latest game and they really enjoy it. Phase 2: Enthrallment The person ends up playing Pokemon practically for days on end. They really get every ounce of the experience. Any time not spent playing Pokemon is spent thinking about Pokemon. This is the most notable aspect of this cycle. This is what you'll remember most in hindsight. Every day and everything to do with this is an absolute breeze. You feel it in you, in your blood. You're good at this. Nothing can stop you. Phase 3: Learning & "Obsession" After this person finishes playing the game, they're still not satisfied. They want more. While replaying the game may help this out, they want more to fill this topic. They'll find new ways to fill their mind with topic. This can be making fan art or fan fiction, out of a desire to get "more" out of this product. Me making my review to The Beginner's Guide for instance, is an attempt for me to get "more" out of this product. It allows me to fill my mind with it longer and in more unique ways. For our Pokemon person, he's probably looking up all kinds of strategies and planning out a million different teams and wanting to test them all out, with every possible moveset. The desire grows and grows, until... Phase 4: Frustration Eventually, a wall is hit. Continuing with this topic becomes difficult. Very difficult. Sometimes it's a small snag, like not knowing a specific skill to help any project you've come up with in the previous two phases. You try to beat your way through, but it's not always possible. For example, there may be no more to learn about this project. You've exhausted every strategy in your arsenal. I wouldn't exactly say that you get "bored" during this time, but you feel like you're trudging through mud to get anywhere. ---> Most of my frustrations step from this part of the cycle. Sometimes it's a wall, and sometimes it does taper off. But, remember, in the past couple of years this has happened like 20 times. Phase 5: Abandonment You give up what you're working on, or interested in. Most neurotypical people I tell this step to think that it's like a "rage quit." But it's not. Besides sometimes it tappering off, sometimes it's just with a random topic like a television show. Whenever this happens, it's usually a sad and begrudging moment. You still have the high hopes that rose up in the discovery and enthrallment phases. But you've got nothing left to give it. You can try working on it for months and months, but it never seems to go anywhere. At this point you may also be hit with Phase 1 again, but for a different topic. Phase 6: Refractory You want to look at the old topic at all. You don't dislike it, but you are... so disinterested ''in the topic itself that there's no reason to keep it in your mind. In fact, if you disliked it, you'd be able to actually say something about it. Or do something with it. And the tragic part is that... sometimes you still want to complete the projects that you started in the name of this interest. The refractory period might reduce over time (like, we're talking months or years), but sometimes it doesn't. -------------- These are the general steps of the cycle. It has happened, pretty much every single time. The ''Obsession phase ends like a well drying up, and there's no way for me to continue in that phase. I have three options really. I need to figure out if there's a way to start up a phase 7 "Re-Discovery" or figure out if there's a way to keep phase 3 going, or find a way to change the course of phase 4 "Frustration." I have the hardest time conveying that particular phase. Because I get it. Every creative project has its low points. There are going to be parts that you just don't like. You gotta persevere, man. Believe me, I've tried all of the two options people told me to deal with it. Option 1 people tell me is to let it sit for awhile, which is basically telling me to get on to phase 5. Option 2, is to brute force it. And when you go through months trying to brute force something, it should tell you that it isn't very effective. And, like I said, it doesn't always refer to a product. Sometimes I could be totally obsessed with a game for awhile, like Yu-Gi-Oh. As I'm enthralled, I start buying a bunch of cards. I obsess about making new strategies, until out of nowhere I lose interest in them, and put them in a closet somewhere in hopes that maybe it'll re-emerge sometime later. And another problem is that, while yes, sometimes there's a clear cut reason why phase 3 ends - there's no more to learn/do; I hit a problem I can't solve; or a new interest comes along - sometimes it just tapers off. I get less and less interested day by day and I end up finding myself in a grey area in between special interests that's a weird place to be in. ---------- One thing that I've noticed - one thing that keeps Phase 3 going - is learning new information. This might be a me thing, but phase 4 seems to come more often when my knowledge on the product seems to be bottom out. When there's nothing new to learn, I tend to lose interest. I spend a lot of time looking up spoof movie techniques and watching spoof films, and then I start writing the script for a spoof movie. When I feel like I've got the gist of it down... well, the game is over. Press restart. Unfortunately this is a MAJOR problem. Let's take the example of writing a novel. The point of obsession comes when you're planning everything out. Building the worlds. Learning about the characters. You need to know everything before you begin. Which means that I know everything there is to know before I get into the meat and potatoes of the project where I need phase 3 the most. I end up in phase 4, usually before the beginning of the novel is over. I mean, right now its a hypothesis, but it's better than I had before. What I'm going to do is try and write something on the fly. I'm going to choose a topic and write a script or a novel or something like that with nothing more than a concept. No character sheets, no plot synopsis, nothing. If my hypothesis is wrong, well I'm back at square 1. If my hypothesis is right... well... I have to figure out how to keep myself discovering new things while making a project like a novel or a screenplay where I know everything before I begin. Category:Miscellaneous